


Strange Happenings

by 11_Gadget_27



Series: Saren and Nihlus [1]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Genderswap, Het and Slash, Humor, M/M, Mass Effect Kink Meme, Prothean Space Magic, Smut, Turians, female Saren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-19
Updated: 2013-05-19
Packaged: 2017-12-12 09:00:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/809771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/11_Gadget_27/pseuds/11_Gadget_27
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As Spectres, Saren and Nihlus have had a lot of weird things happen. This one though, it takes the cake.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Strange Happenings

**Author's Note:**

> Hi again. I’ve decided to fill yet another Mass Effect Kinkmeme prompt, this one I prompted myself after the idea wouldn’t leave me alone. It when it still wouldn’t leave me alone, I wrote it anyway. There already was a fill and it was just fucking awesome. You can find it here: http://masseffectkink.livejournal.com/6609.html?thread=29608657#t29608657
> 
> So the prompt was “I want to see Saren, who's already in a in an established relationship with Nihlus, turned into a female turian for whatever reason for a set amount of time. A few hours, a day or a week, whatever a!a would like to do with it. And Nihlus cannot get enough of "her". Every chance he gets he's pushing femsaren onto the floor, against a wall or bending her over something. Bonuses for Nihlus talking dirty throughout and Saren loving every second of it.”
> 
> If it’s in ITALICS it’s probably being spoken with subharmonics if not otherwise noted to be a character thinking. Both Saren and Nihlus speak in subvocals a lot so I hope that’s not too confusing. Also, before I forget, it will show up later but aside from the groin plates thing, I’m going with human female anatomy. Because well, it’s just easier that way.

+_-_-_-_-_+

“Strange Happenings”

 

Nihlus Kryik woke to warmth pressed along his back and an arm draped across his waist. Waking up in the arms of his fellow Spectre, Saren Arterius, was a rare indulgence but one he never passed up. Since he had completed his apprenticeship two years ago, they’d had few chances to meet up. Last night had been the first time they’d gotten together in more than six months and Nihlus had been aching for it.

In those months, he’d never strayed to other lovers, not once even though the temptation had been there. Asari loved him and Nihlus had been told by both genders of his own species that he was irresistible. It was either his Spectre status or his noncolony tattoos that made him so alluring. He’d been raised by turian mercenaries and as such, others with his paint were rare and exotic in Hierarchy space.

But back to the present matter.

Waking up with Saren was a real treat when he had been denied such luxuries for the last half year. He’d met Saren at a high class hotel and they had barely said hello before going to their room to catch up in the more private sense. They had gotten reacquainted against the wall, on the floor and finally in the bed before exhaustion had caught up with them. He’d been the first to fall asleep with his head resting on Saren’s shoulder and the older turian’s hand petting his fringe.

The sex had been great; it always was, even if Nihlus never got to be the one on top. Feeling Saren above him and in him, hearing that possessive growl in his ear…It never failed to get Nihlus off. He was getting turned on just thinking about it and the protective plates spanning his groin started to get loose.

He reached for Saren’s arm, wanting to put his hand over his growing arousal but stopped when he felt something…off. The arm thrown over him was too thin for one thing, the hand at the end too small and…feminine?

_What in the fuck?_

Nihlus had gone to sleep with Saren; he _remembered_ going to sleep with his former mentor wrapped around him. So why was there a female turian pressed tightly to his back? Whatever the hell was going on, Nihlus knew he’d feel better armed. Saren kept guns stashed everywhere. Taped under tables, hidden behind the refrigerator and stuffed under both sides of the mattress.

 _You gotta love good ol’ Spectre paranoia._ He thought as his hand closed on the butt of a heavy-pistol.  

Nihlus shifted his shoulders slowly and then his hips as he turned on his back. The gun was easily and abruptly slapped out of his hand at the same time the turian female came awake. He had to admire the hardwired survival instincts even as he was shoved from the bed and two small, delicately taloned hands wrapped around his throat. Nihlus bucked up and twisted until he had the woman pinned underneath him and his own hands around her throat.

A fist struck him in the side at the same time his hold on her neck was broken with a forearm crashing into the underside of his elbows. He snarled and rolled away to get his feet under him. Finally standing he fell into a defensive stance, knees bent and hands raised in front of his chest, talons curled into his palms until he was sure he’d need them. Or if she left him no choice but to go for the more lethal moves.

“What the _fuck_ are you doing Nihlus?” Saren asked furiously.

Nihlus blinked, his stance faltering. There must be something wrong with him because he could have sworn it was the woman that asked the question. It was her mouth that had moved but it was Saren’s voice he’d heard.

“Who the fuck are you?” He demanded.

The female turian’s mandibles dropped level with her lower jaw in confusion. “What the hell is wrong with you Nihlus?” It was Saren’s voice coming out of that mouth, only it was feminine (obviously) and lilting, pleasant even.

Something was _wrong_ here, really wrong.

“S-Saren?” He asked cautiously, disbelieving it even as he spoke.

The female growled and placed her hands on some very shapely hips. “Of course it’s me you imbecile. What’s wrong with you?”

The condescending tone matched Saren’s usual inflection even if the body was different. What a body it was, too. Pale silver plating with light grey hide, a super slender waist and wide, supportive hips. And she was just as naked as he was. He looked away from her form and focused on her face instead. It was angular like Saren’s, she even had those exotic valluvian horns Nihlus’ loved to lick so much. Her mandibles were small and slender, cradling the line of her jaw.

 _She’s actually…kind of hot._ He thought and then remembered, yep, he was still naked and still aroused as hell.

“It’s really you?” He asked, finally lowering his hands.

“Yes, it’s me.” The woman snapped with his lover’s voice. “Nihlus what has-“

“You…you should go look in a mirror.” He interrupted. “Like right now.”

The female tossed him a confused look and turned on her heel, heading for the bathroom. A few seconds later he heard a startled and very feminine yelp of shock followed immediately by masculine swearing. Nihlus grabbed his pants from where they’d been thrown over the sofa sometime last night and turned toward the bathroom and the woman’s continued cursing.

He stopped just inside the doorway, unsure if he should step in further or leave all together.  The female was staring into the mirror, both hands exploring her face. Fingertips grazed the edges of her tiny mandibles and ran the length of the horns above them. She felt around her skull, it looked like she was feeling for a fringe. One hand probed at the back of her neck and Nihlus saw the metallic edge of a biotic amp against her pale grey hide.

Done with her face, her hands skimmed down her body. Starting on the long, thin neck and working her way over her sparsely plated torso to the thin waist and then those lovely hips. She seemed to notice Nihlus for the first time and turned to face him. Her pale silver-blue eyes were the same as Saren’s and they were wide with shock.

“Nihlus?” She asked, her voice still sounded like Saren’s only it was in a higher tone.

“Saren?” He still didn’t believe it, there was just no fucking way this sexy little turian female was his lover.

“I don’t understand…what’s happening here.” She glanced back at the mirror.

 

+_-_-_-_-_+

The idea to scan her with his omnitool hit a moment later while they stared at each other. He told her to stand still and pulled up the interface, he then passed the ‘tool over her from head to taloned foot. Seconds later, the results beeped up at him but they were impossible.

_Arterius, Saren. Special Tactics and Reconnaissance._

 “What does it say?” She asked.

Nihlus glanced down at…him? No, her, it would be easier if he just thought ‘her’. “Your DNA matches Saren’s but I-“

“Ask me a question.” She ordered suddenly. “Something only Saren would know. Something private.”

Nihlus could see the logic in that and he took a moment to think of something. Not something too private because, in case the female wasn’t Saren, he didn’t give too much of himself away.

“A year ago,” He began. “We were in the Kelper Verge and we came across a slaver’s ship.”

“I said something _private_ Nihlus, Spectre reports can be hacked. Spirits, I could hack them.”

Saren was an awful hacker, for whatever reason, he didn’t possess the patience for it.

“I’m getting to that,” He said. “There was door we needed a…a key card for and you wanted to set charges to blow it. I wouldn’t let you, said there might be survivors. There weren’t and what we found…sometimes I dream about it. We set those explosives on the way out, it was the only thing we could do. I said something to you when we got back on our ship and you hit me for it. Do you know what I said?”

The female just looked at him for a moment. “You were looking out the window, watching the ship crumble and you laughed.” She told him. “You laughed and you said: _at least we didn’t do something stupid like blow that door, huh?_ And I cuffed you on the back of the head and told you I didn’t appreciate the humor.”

Nihlus took a step away from the door and closer to the woman. That was exactly what had happened, Saren had damn near bent one of his fringe blades.

“Saren? It’s really you?” He asked.

“I told you it was me.” She grumbled, arms crossing over her waist. “What in the fuck is going on?”

Nihlus offered up a shrug. “Your guess is as good mine.”

The female-Saren stepped into his personal space and leaned her head against his chest. Spirits, she was smaller than him now and he’d always been shorter than Saren. Sudden arousal flushed through his groin.

“Saren?”

“Yes?”

“You, um, you need to put some clothes on.” He said.

A pause. “Nothing I have here is going to fit me.”

“Fuck.” Nihlus swore.

Saren made a confused noise and Nihlus figured he’d be hearing a lot of those for the next foreseeable future, maybe even after they figured this out. He tried to adopt a careless attitude and failed because, when he shrugged, their bodies brushed.

“What?”

“You’re…okay, you’re actually pretty hot.” Nihlus told her.

Saren shoved him away. “I hadn’t noticed.”

Of course he hadn’t, he’d been awake less than fifteen minutes and had spent nearly all of them freaking out. Nihlus could honestly say he would have reacted about the same, plus maybe a little screaming.

“So…”He said. “Does this mean I can call you _Sareena_?”

Saren punched him hard in the stomach on her way out of the bathroom.

 

+_-_-_-_-_+

They sat together on the edge of the bed. Saren was holding her head in her hands, wrapped loosely in a blanket and still hissing obscenities. Nihlus just rubbed her back in small, comforting circles while he tried to wrap his brain around the fact his _male_ lover was somehow female.

“I just…” He didn’t know what to say, it was the weirdest thing he’d even experienced and that was counting the time a hanar had hit on him. “Have you been anywhere unusual?”

Saren huffed an exasperated laugh. “We’re Spectres; unusual is in the norm for us.”

Nihlus accepted the point and moved on. “Have you…I don’t know, inhaled any strange gasses or powders?”

“No.”

“Eaten anything you normally wouldn’t?”

A silent shake of her head.

“Pissed off anyone that stands out?”

“The people I piss off don’t tend to live long enough to repay me.”

He accepted that too, Saren rarely left enemy survivors. “Well, something like this doesn’t just happen.”

“I _know_ that!” She screamed in his face and the blanket slipped down, giving Nihlus a tantalizing glimpse of her waist. He looked away quickly.

“We can…”He had to think; there wasn’t much they could do. “We can talk to the councilors. Maybe Valern or Tevos-“

“Fuck no.” Saren hissed and jerked that blanket tightly around her shoulders. “I am _not leaving_ this room. Not until I know what’s happened to me.”

“If you don’t leave, you won’t learn anything.” Nihlus pointed out.

Saren made a noise of real distress and he resumed rubbing her back to calm her. He opened his mouth to speak, to offer some meaningless words of comfort but she held up a hand to silence him.

“I swear to every spirit if you tell me ‘everything’s okay’ I will injure you beyond repair.”

Nihlus let his mouth close silently.

Saren hung her head and gripped the edges of the blanket in tight fists. “I don’t know what to do.” She confessed quietly.

“I don’t either.”

 

+_-_-_-_-_+

In the end, Nihlus took a fresher sample of Saren’s DNA and left the Spectre laying curled up in their bed. Her sleep was fitful but it was still sleep and he knew this ordeal was mentally exhausting for the both of them. Nihlus himself was wavering between shock and hysteria. He couldn’t imagine what Saren was going through.

_Just waking up female? How in the fuck does something like that even happen? Fucking…space magic or some shit?_

His thoughts followed the same pattern as he made his way to the Spectre offices to run every damn test and analysis he could think of. It would take hours to run all of them and he gave the sample to the technician there after giving strict instructions to message his omnitool with the results. He also left threats of a slow, painful death if the tech breathed a word to anyone about the identity of the sample.

There was no sense hanging around with Saren so…unbalanced and alone. He stopped briefly to get them something to eat before making his way back to the hotel. When he arrived, his lover was sitting on the edge of their bed only now he-

_She, dammit, it will be easier and a lot less confusing if you just think and say she._

She was wearing Nihlus’ only other set of civilian wear. Something Saren never could have done before this day because her male body had been so much bigger in the shoulders, chest and waist than Nihlus. Saren was wearing his clothes and he felt another visceral pang of arousal deep in his stomach.

His mouth was suddenly dry and he was way too overheated. Tugging on the collar of his shirt didn’t help at all.

“I’m back.” He said and Saren glanced over at him. “Um, how are you doing?”

“Nothing of mine fits.” She muttered, sounding almost petulant. “Your clothes are still too big.”

“I guess I could get you some clothes of your own, not that I mind you wearing mine, but if you’re uncomfortable-“

“Of course I’m uncomfortable!” She yelled as she stood and Nihlus’ clothes hung off her frame. “I’m a woman and a small woman at that. And I- I don’t know where the fuck my dick went!”

The laugh that statement startled out of Nihlus was near hysterical and he doubled over as his lungs burned.

“It’s not funny!”

He held out a hand to fend off any retaliation but Saren didn’t step any closer. She flopped back onto the bed and folded her arms angrily, grumbling quietly. When he got himself back under control and he could breathe again, Nihlus sat beside her.

“Look, I’m sorry for laughing at you.” He started. “I may not be in your…situation but I’m just as perplexed and shaken as you are. Okay? We’ll figure this out together and get you back to normal.”

Saren nodded absently, like she didn’t really believe him. “How long until we have the test results?”

“I don’t know Saren.” He said. “A couple of hours at the minimum.”

“And there’s no guarantee we’ll have any answers for what’s going on here.”

“Right,” Nihlus murmured, he’d been trying not to think about that possibility. “C’mon, I brought you food.”

Saren shook her head in the negative. “Thank you Nihlus, but I don’t have much of an appetite.”

He snorted a laughed and grabbed her hand, pulling her gently to her feet. “I’d probably be alarmed if you did, but you should still try to eat.”

“I don’t-“

“Please, just try okay?”

She sighed and pulled from Nihlus’ grip. “Fine.”

+_-_-_-_-_+

An hour or so after they ate, Saren said she wanted to spar. She’d told him that she needed to test the new body’s abilities just in case she was stuck in it for longer than they hoped. While Nihlus could agree with the reasoning, he wasn’t looking forward to being slammed around by biotics or having his ass handed to him by a female turian who barely reached the center of his chest.

Together, they moved the furniture in the living room against the wall to allow for more movement. When that was done, Saren jumped right in to her self-appointed exercise and took the offensive position. Once Nihlus fell into his own stance, they nodded at each other to begin.

She lashed out at his face, her talons mercifully curled into her palm and he easily sidestepped. That told them both the first thing they needed to know: she still possessed the usual speed but her reach was greatly reduced. She had to step further into Nihlus’ space and it allowed him to grab her under the arm and then toss her over his shoulder. She hit the floor with a thud but immediately rolled back to her feet.

Nihlus’ turn now, he shifted his back foot forward in a snapping kick that almost caught Saren under the jaw but she blocked his foot at the last second with her forearm. He shifted again, turning and jumping to strike out with his other foot and she blocked that too.

Saren smiled at him, those cute little mandibles flaring away from her jaw and then they really got started. Nihlus was sure that to an observer, they moved like a well-oiled machine. Even motion fluid and so easy it could only be muscle memory. They had done this so many times that Saren’s new, smaller body hardly made any difference. Except that Nihlus had the obvious advantages of height and weight, she was still faster and more cunning. Saren threw him on his back a half dozen times before he finally got her pinned on her stomach with her dominant arm trapped behind her back and the other held to the floor by the wrist. Thankfully, she’d never resorted to using her biotics and Nihlus counted himself immensely lucky for that.

They were both breathing hard by the end of it and usually, this was the point when Saren would break the mount and flip their positions. Where _he_ would pin Nihlus and fuck him until he was breathless and half-conscious with the intensity of the pleasure.

His pelvic plates were already opening with anticipation before he remembered that wouldn’t be happening this time. Nihlus slid away from Saren’s too tempting female body and tried to think of anything to lessen his arousal. He thought about gun-mods, dead slavers, the process of a decaying body and anything else to level his hormones.

It had been so long since he had been with a female of his own species and it was still Saren, just different packaging. All he wanted to do was climb on top of her and- He mentally recited every name of the Primarchs throughout history until his groin plates had closed again but they were still painfully tender.

_Domitius…Balista…Accius…Flavius…Aurelia…Catiline…Fedorian…_

“Nihlus?” Saren asked quietly and he realized he was still crouched on the floor less than a few inches from her.

“Hmm?”

He felt like her glare could strip the flesh from his bones. “I can smell your arousal.” Her growling tone wasn’t making him feel any better either.

“I know.” He said. “Sorry. It’s just we usually…I don’t think I can help it.”

Saren stood and turned sharply on her heel. “I’m taking a shower. Stay away from me.”

+_-_-_-_-_+

In the ten minutes before Nihlus moved from his seat on the floor, his mind wandered back to the first time he and Saren had been intimate. He couldn’t even remember how they’d gotten into the situation to begin with; he did remember the both of them covered in a corrosive chemical that had eaten away at their armor and the clothes underneath. Nihlus recalled Saren shoving him into a shower stall and ripping away their armor even as the ceramic plating dissolved off of them. Saren’s hands pushing his face into the spray of water as the chemical had started to burn and smoke on his flesh. And then his face next to Nihlus’ in the water, those long valluvian horns brushing his face almost gently.

Saren had washed that acidic gunk off of them quickly but he had lingered even after it was all gone. Pale, long-taloned hands had touched everywhere under the guise of looking for injuries but then a few not-so-innocent and protective touches had led one thing into another. And suddenly Nihlus had been firmly pushed against the wall with Saren’s face in his throat and his thigh over his hip as the older turian had pushed inside him that very first time. He remembered how hard and thick and just how big he was. How he wasn’t slow or gentle but just took him against the shower wall for all he was worth. Then when they were done, Saren had purred with genuine affection softly against his face.

_Great, now I’m hard again._

Nihlus’ earlier technique of miscellaneous thoughts of death and politics were unsuccessful a second time. He tried deep breathing.  However that failed epically when he smelled Saren still in the room, or rather, when he scented the soft and teasing aroma of feminine arousal. It smelled _so good_ , heady and almost overpowering and he hadn’t been with a woman in years.  

_He-dammit she- told you to stay away. If you corner her, she’s going to rip your dick off and feed it to you. Just sit here and breathe until you’re calm._

His body didn’t obey his brain and he was on his feet.

_She wants you too; you know that, you can smell it. Fuck, you can almost taste it. No, no. Stop moving toward that bathroom. Turn around and leave Nihlus, just leave right now. Get another room and leave her alone. Saren will kill you if you push your luck on this. You’ve already gotten away with more than anyone ever has. Stop pushing. Leave. Now._

His body headed toward the bathroom, his genital plates wide open and cock aching behind the fabric of his pants.

 _N_ o, _I can’t just leave Saren alone like this without saying a word. I know I should but I can’t, she needs me here. Saren won’t admit it but I know she needs me. I just need to…slow down a little. If I’m going to do this, and I already know I am, then I need to go about it very carefully. I can’t risk pushing Saren away emotionally. We’ve already come so far in the last few years. And spirits know what Saren would do to me if I ever hurt her…him. If I hurt him, it’s still my Saren in there. I’ll…I’ll just ask her what she wants. If she tells me no, then no._

 

+_-_-_-_-_+

Saren was just stepping out of the bathroom when Nihlus entered their bedroom. She had slipped back into the same set of clothes he’d loaned her and was toweling off her face. He could still faintly smell her interest in him and it made his heart pound.

“I want you.” He said and could have kicked himself. _So much for slowing down. I’ve got maybe ten seconds before she kills me._

“Get out Nihlus.” Saren hissed.

Nihlus held up his hands in a placating gesture. “Just wait, please hear me out.”

That towel hit the floor with a wet smack and she sighed. “You’ve got two minutes. Make them count.”

He swallowed down the nervousness caught in his throat and moved into Saren’s personal space. He didn’t try to touch her; it would be too presumptuous an action when he wasn’t sure where they stood yet. Looking at her, her pale grey hide and the so slender frame with the silver-blue tinted eyes that were all Saren no matter the body, Nihlus found her beautiful. He cared about Saren, a lot, and he was not going to fuck up everything they had just because he wanted to feel a female wrapped around his dick again. This would be Saren’s choice or it wouldn’t happen at all.

Nihlus gathered his thoughts, his reasons and his courage, because he’d never needed that more than he did right that minute, and spoke. “Your body doesn’t matter to me Saren. It’s _you_ I lo- care about. I don’t give a fuck if you’re male or female.”

Saren’s mandibles twitched and she actually reached out to him before dropping her hand. “You were going to say ‘love’.”

Nihlus glanced away because he _had_ meant to say that but they’d never made any promises to each other. It was too late to take the words away now that they were out there. “I’ve wanted to say it for a while, didn’t think now was the best time.”

“It’s probably not,” Saren agreed. “Everything is upside-down and backwards. I can’t…tell you if I feel the same and know if I am honest.”

“But you care about me?” Nihlus asked.

It was Saren who took a step forward and closed a large portion of the space between then. “I care about you.”

That was…good to know. It would make everything easier, but there was still something Nihlus _needed_ to know. “Do you trust me?”

She gave him a look that clearly said she questioned his sanity. “You already know I trust you with my life, I’ve put it in your hands enough times.”

“I know that,” He closed the rest of that distance and finally touched her, his hand on her chest. “I’m asking if you trust me with your heart.”

Saren met his eyes, her own wide and full of surprise and something else. It was that something else he was after. “Nihlus,”

He wrapped his other arm around her gently. “I’d never hurt you, not intentionally, but I need to know if you have faith in me. If you don’t, then this won’t work. You can lock the door, I’ll sleep out there on the couch and then later, when things are back to normal, we can figure out where we stand. But I need to know Saren. Do you trust me?”

He could feel Saren’s heart racing under his palm. She stared into his eyes like she was searching for something. And when she answered him, there was no hesitation in any of her tones.

“I trust you.”

Nihlus couldn’t help thinking she had given into him a little too easily, but Saren’s trust in him was a fucking spirits-damned aphrodisiac. He could barely think straight he was so open and hard it was painful. As close as they were standing, Nihlus knew she could feel him even through the fabric of his pants and he was itching to take them off. Of course he wouldn’t until Saren told him to and the real probability of it had his blood boiling.

He leaned down and pressed his forehead to hers, let the musk of his intent blanket them both in the heady scent of sex and individual mating pheromones. Saren purred once, quietly and pushed closer. Her arms went around his neck slowly and Nihlus lowered his face until their mandibles touched. Tilting his head a little lower he felt Saren’s breath on his mouth and then the tip of her tongue tasting the seam.

A growl reverberated in his chest and he wound his arms around her, pulling her firmly to his chest. Nihlus eased his tongue into her mouth, tasted her to his heart’s content and she returned the sentiment. But when he gave a slow roll of his hips and pressed his erection more firmly against her stomach, Saren pushed him back to arm’s length.

Nihlus trembled with hurt at the sudden rejection. Then he really looked at Saren and found her standing so straight and still that she was actually shaking. He reached for her and when she fairly flinched, Nihlus realized she wasn’t rejecting him completely. She was afraid.

He knew that Saren had never been in the submissive position, literally or figuratively. The older turian was always in control and that extended to her (his) sex-life. Nihlus himself had no problem bottoming, it was the pleasure he was after not the game, and he had never pushed the issue with Saren. However, it had never been a problem before now. He’d have to be sympathetic and ease her into this so he didn’t ruin what they had. He knew if he did it correctly, that at the end of this strange experience, they could have so much more.

“I won’t hurt you,” Nihlus whispered finally and held his arms open for her, waiting patiently for Saren to make her move. “If you tell me to stop, I’ll stop. I’m not going to force you into anything you don’t want. Just…trust me Saren, please.”

“I do trust you.” Again, there was no hesitation to her words, though her subharmonics were less confident this time. “I just don’t…the things I’m feeling, I can’t…”

“You’re safe with me.” Nihlus promised as he continued to wait, his arms still outstretched.

Finally Saren moved into range and leaned against his chest with her fringe-less head tucked under his chin. For a few minutes, Nihlus just held her. He didn’t even let his hands wander from their spot on her shoulders. When he felt her warm breath on the sensitive flesh of his throat, his hands dropped to rest loosely on her waist. Sharp, needle-like teeth grazed him with a slow precision, looking for that spot Saren knew by now that he liked.

Nihlus groaned and somehow managed to keep from rocking his hips again. Pale hands reached up and touched his face, thumbs stroking over his mandibles slowly, deliberately. He purred for her encouragingly, subharmonics asking her to keep going. Nihlus had no problem doing things at her pace if it meant Saren didn’t jerk away from him again. He knew he could ignore the need he felt like a burning in his stomach for a little longer.

 

+_-_-_-_-_+

 

Before he knew it, he was sitting on the edge of the bed with Saren perched astride his lap. She devoured his mouth, her every movement rough and almost uncoordinated. Nihlus slid his hands along her back. He knew what she was trying to do. Saren had to have control, it was ingrained. And Nihlus did not have a lot of leverage in this position, not with her weight pinning his legs to the mattress, light though she was.

Saren grabbed the ends of his fringe and jerked his head back hard, diving in to bite his throat. His hips snapped up against his will, erection rubbing her through their clothes and catching her off guard. Saren froze and her hands tightened on his fringe imperceptibly.

“Hey, it’s okay.” Nihlus said, looking up into her eyes. “We’ve done this a million times. The only thing different is the pieces. You’re okay, we’ll slow down some, take our time.”

Saren let go of his fringe after a long moment of staring into his eyes. Nihlus could see her warring with herself, trying to come to some decision. Then she lowered herself firmly into his lap and without warning, ground their bodies together. He groaned and wrapped his arms tightly around her.

“I don’t want to slow down.” She whispered in his ear and pushed down against him forcefully.

Nihlus hissed and grabbed her hips to move her before he exploded. There was a thought nagging at his mind, something that would make this difficult for them if he didn’t mention it now.

“Wait, wait.” He said. “There’s something we need to consider.”

Saren tried to push him on his back but her smaller size didn’t allow for the strength required to throw around a full grown male. She did manage to keep grinding on him though and it had Nihlus seeing stars and panting for breath.

“Saren dammit, wait, I’m serious here.”

“Fine,” She groused. “What?”

“I’m really not sure how to say it,”

“Out with it Nihlus.”

He was suddenly embarrassed by the question he had to ask. “This body, what if it’s…ah, what if it’s um, virginal?”

Saren gave him a look that was almost incredulous. “Really Nihlus?”

“It’s a legitimate concern!” He yelled as he stopped her hands from ripping open his shirt. Saren was always ripping his clothes off him. “I don’t want to hurt you dammit.”

She knocked his hands away and slid a talon between the clasps of his tunic. “How many times do I have to say I trust you Nihlus?”

He tapped one mandible with gentle affection. “Until you believe it.” He murmured. “We’re going to slow down here Saren, and we’re going to take our time and do this right.”

“I’m not a delicate little-“

“I _know_ and I didn’t say you were. But I’m not going to even take a chance of hurting you.”

Saren glared at him and Nihlus felt his opportunities dwindling.

“Look,” He tried a different approach and a softer tone. “You can keep the control Saren, but let me have the method. Please?”

She settled in his lap comfortably. “Fine,” She said. “We can do this your way, just this one time.”

+_-_-_-_-_+

At Saren’s urging, Nihlus had them both naked in no time.

They lay facing each other on their sides, less than an inch of space between their chests. Nihlus had one arm underneath her shoulders with his hand curled to hold the back of her head as they kissed. He ached, need coursing through him at a rapid pace that had his cock pulsing with each beat of his heart. Saren hadn’t allowed his hand to stray any further than the arch of her hip.

Saren had already touched him everywhere. Smoothed her hands back over his fringe and down the back of his neck, wrapped her fingers around his throat for the barest second before trailing down his chest and waist. Then Saren had started stroking him with a deliberateness that had him struggling not to thrust into her hand. If he could get one release, just to take the edge off, he could have so much more focus. And Saren knew that, keeping him on the brink between wanting to pound into her and holding back gave her that power she craved. It also made Nihlus prove that she could trust him not to break his word.

He grabbed her by the wrist and brought her hand up to his mouth and licked away his own lubricating fluid. It certainly wasn’t the first time Nihlus had done such a thing but it had an effect on Saren every time. Her breathing hitched once and then he heard a warning snarl before he was pushed flat to his back.

His knees were shoved apart and Saren worked her body between his thighs. One hand slid down over his hip to his inner thigh and then under his rear to press into him in the way that usually had him bucking.

“Saren,” Nihlus hissed, undertones clouded over with pleasure. “That’s not going to work this time.”

“Damn it,” Teeth grazed his throat. “I know that,”

“I’ll take it as a compliment that you forgot though.” He resisted the urge to smile, Saren’s forgetfulness on the matter, that she cared enough about Nihlus to let her predicament slip her mind was almost…sweet.

“I can still-“

“If you want to.” He murmured noncommittally and in subvocals he told Saren: _I’d love for you to get me off._

“Yes.”

He did smile this time, mandibles falling away from his jaw. Then her hand wrapped around the base of his cock and his head smacked onto the pillow underneath him. He let out a flanged groan as she squeezed the root of him tightly and then moved quickly up the shaft to the head. Nihlus was already gasping for breath and rocking his hips to get more of that delicious friction. He didn’t last long, he was too worked up for that and he came a few strokes later, growling out Saren’s name.

Saren then leaned over him and licked away his seed where it had landed high on his abdomen. Nihlus almost whimpered; it wasn’t something his lover had done often and it caused a shiver to spiral up his spine.

“Spirits Saren,” It was barely a whisper, spoken reverently against her throat as she climbed up him to push their foreheads together.

Saren just hummed, giving a passing caress to his hips. Nihlus’ groin plates were still open and sensitive. His dick already half hard again but it would be a few minutes until he recovered fully. It would be more than enough time to put Saren in the same euphoric state as himself.

Nihlus hugged her to his chest and licked over the cute (it was hard to believe anything about Saren could _ever_ be cute) little mandibles. With her still pinned to his chest, he rolled them back their sides. He had let Saren have the usual control for as long as he was willing to.

It was his turn. _Finally._

+_-_-_-_-_+

Nihlus cradled Saren’s mandibles in his palms, rubbed his thumbs along the length of her horns. He nuzzled their foreheads together, giving off a soft and calming purr. Her sliver-blue eyes were contemplative and they still seemed to be searching his gaze for something. He just wanted her to trust him. It was all he’d ever wanted from Saren, just the most miniscule amount of faith in him and he would be happy. Now that he knew Saren cared about him, even the tiniest bit, it opened up so many doors.

What he hadn’t expected was that once he’d had a taste of that trust he would crave more. And he’d very recently had the insight that the way to get that trust was to wrest Saren of her control. The benefits far outweighed the risks of what she’d likely do to him once she was back to normal.

 _It’s worth it,_ He thought. _Saren needs to let go of everything, he’s- she dammit you’re doing it again! She’s been under too much strain for weeks and whatever the fuck is going on here cannot be helping. Saren trusts me or I wouldn’t be here. I need to take away her control without abusing the trust she’s only just given me. Don’t fuck this up. It’s what she needs. I may never get another chance to help her like this._

“Saren,”

“Yes Nihlus?”

He bumped their foreheads together again. “Will you close your eyes for me?” She started to argue. “Please? Close your eyes and relax, I just want to make you feel good.”

She settled onto her back, arms at her sides and closed her eyes. Nihlus didn’t miss how her hands clenched into fists on the sheets. He made a subvocal cooing noise as he laid his hands over hers and coaxed her fingers open.

“You’re safe with me,” He said tenderly. “It’s okay to let go.”

Saren nodded silently but he still felt the slight tremors in her frame. He knew he’d have to find a way to distract her, to get her focused more on her body than her mind and physical position.

He knew the back of her neck directly under the biotic port was particularly sensitive. He couldn’t get to it now and he was _not_ going to ask her to roll onto her stomach. Another place he knew of was just under her chin, where throat and jaw met. Stretching out on his side next to her, he tilted his face forward and put his mouth gently over that spot.  He didn’t crowd Saren so much as press up against her side until she knew exactly where all of his body was.

Nihlus let his tongue taste her throat for a moment before letting his teeth come into play. Gently at first and then with a little more pressure when she didn’t immediately tense up. His other hand slid up her shoulder to cradle the back of her head and turn it so he could have more access to the expanse of her throat.

Saren’s breathing was coming faster but he could tell it was more nerves than pleasure from the way her hands tightened on the sheets again.

 _Just keep trying._ He told himself and started making slow circles with the tip of his tongue over her pulse. One of her hands abruptly gripped the back of his neck and her talons dug into his flesh. He hissed in a mix of pain and delight; at least she was focusing on him now.

He let go of her head and trailed his hand down her torso to linger over her waist. Saren mumbled something he didn’t catch, probably his name as he began to leave small bites along her throat. Nihlus let his hand continue down to her hip and gave it a soft squeeze. Then slowly and with the utmost caution, he allowed his fingertips to graze the upper part of her groin plates.

Saren’s hand suddenly grabbed his wrist, halting his progress. Nihlus pulled back from her neck and looked down into large iridescent eyes. They were wide with just a hint of panic but the pupils were dilated indicating her arousal almost as strongly as the scent of her in his nose. She wanted him to touch her new body like that; she was just fighting with him for a sense of power.

“Just trust me.”

Nihlus was grateful he’d remembered to clip his talons before they’d met up last night. At the time, he’d only wanted to avoid nicking his lover somewhere tender. But one wrong move here, on intimate _female_ flesh and Saren would never allow these kinds of touches again. In all truth, he didn’t care what had caused the older turian to suddenly become a female. Nihlus wouldn’t waste the chance he’d been given or the opportunity to help Saren find the best release of her life.

Her mandibles fluttered nervously but she nodded and closed her eyes again as she let him go. Saren was just starting to unfurl, the edges parting to reveal damp and overheated flesh. He slid his hand down to the open slit and dipped a finger into the warm, wet heat of her sex. He traced a slow pattern on that delicate nub at the top before letting his fingers slip lower. He didn’t penetrate, not yet, not until she asked him to but he did circle the outside of her entrance leisurely.

Saren’s breath hitched and she moaned so softly that he felt it move through her chest more than he heard it leave her mouth. Nihlus moved his fingers in a slow, teasing circle just outside where he wanted to be. In the few seconds since he’d touched her, she had become so unbelievably wet and slick. Saren was almost dripping with arousal for him but she was still so tight Nihlus had trouble easing the tip of his finger into her. He’d have to really work her, maybe even get her off a few times before he tried to enter her fully with his cock.

She gave him another of those soft moans and Nihlus nuzzled his face against hers. He felt Saren nod once and then, to his absolute surprise, she grabbed his wrist again. But not to stop him, this time her fingers covered and directed his where she wanted them.

Together, they caressed that little nub again, even slower than he had at the beginning. A so slow circle around the tender tissue had Saren stifling the rising sound of her purr against his throat and her free hand grabbing the central keel bone of his chest almost desperately. Nihlus sped up his touches though he kept the same general motion as he went steadily faster.

“N-Nihlus,” Saren’s breathing was just shy of panting.

“Uhuh?”

“Stop teasing.”

Nihlus smiled and slowed his fingers. “In a minute,”

Her talons dug into the back of his hand. “Nihlus.”

He pressed his mouth against hers gently but pulled away before she could coax him into a distracting kiss. “I’m going to make you come Saren.” He whispered into her ear. “I’m going to give you the best orgasm of your life and I’m not even going to enter you. Not yet anyway.”

“You think awfully highly of yourself, don’t you?”

“You just wait.” He nipped the end of Saren’s mandible. “One amazing, mind-numbing orgasm on the way.”

 

+_-_-_-_-_+

It wasn’t long until he had Saren practically riding his hand and whimpering at every little thrust of his fingers as his thumb rubbed on that sweet spot. She had her face pressed tightly to his neck again and Nihlus could feel her teeth scraping him as she opened her mouth wider with each quite moan. Saren had always been an immensely quiet lover, she rarely got louder than the occasional soft gasp or strangled groan. But the noises she made now, spirits they were so sexy and he didn’t know if it was because the sensitivity inside her body was so different or if he was really wringing the sounds out of her from the level of pleasure alone. 

When Saren started to nibble along his throat, Nihlus picked up the pace of his thrusts just a little, still holding something back for later. She was still tight but his fingers slid smoothly in and out, liberally coated in her wetness and caressed the internal grooves of her passage that would accommodate the ridges of his cock when he was finally inside her. Nihlus kept the motion of his thumb on her clit slow and even until the way she lifted her hips up to meet him and the steadily growing moans had his rhythm breaking. He went from languorous circles to fast, up and down swipes of his thumb on that little nub while his fingers sank nice and deep.

Judging by her frantic breathing and the erratic spasms of her channel, she was close to the edge. Nihlus pushed her a little further until he felt her back arch and her beginning to contract around him and then he abruptly took his hand away, leaving her empty.

“Damn it Nihlus!” She snarled as he denied her that release. “I was-“

He kissed her hard, forcing his tongue into her mouth and mimicked the motions his fingers had just abandoned. Saren grabbed the back of his head, her fingers gripping just under his fringe and one of her legs brushed his thigh as she bent her knees. This was the part, where with another female, he would move above her and between her legs to take her, but not with Saren.

There was something else he _could_ do for her though, something he knew she would enjoy. Saren had always liked the feeling of his tongue licking along his male parts so he was certain she would like it just as much now. He grabbed the leg that had been moving steadily toward his waist and held her just under the thigh. A gentle tug opened her up at the same time he maneuvered her onto her back.

Saren made a startled sound as Nihlus started licking down her torso. He stopped at her waist and placed careful bites from one side to the other, dropping his head down to bite along her hip bones too. She jerked underneath him, hands clapping down on his shoulders.

“Nihlus, what are you…?”

Nihlus didn’t answer her. He pulled her thigh over his shoulder while making sure their eyes were locked. Saren’s gaze was full of a hungry heat as she held his stare. He lowered his head by inches and slowly licked her, bottom to top.

Saren swore and her hips bucked so hard he had to hold them down. His cock pulsed against the bed, the sheets smooth and warm from the combined heat of their bodies. Nihlus fought down the urge to rub himself on the bed, instead putting his attention fully on Saren. He swirled his tongue around that little bundle of nerves north of her hole and she gasped out his name. The next lick had her hands grabbing the ends of his fringe painfully tight and trying to jerk his head away. It only provoked Nihlus to keep going, his tongue moving in quick surges over her clit before he circled it around her entrance almost lazily.

 She started to raise her hips to meet him and he pushed his tongue into her. Saren gasped for breath, her spine bowing and the thigh over his shoulder pressing his right mandible to his face. Nihlus slid his arms under her, held her at an angle with his hands spread over her hips and back.  

Nihlus worked his tongue in and out of her, curling it in her, slid it out and over her nub again for half a second before dipping back inside. He could feel Saren’s fingers on the back of his neck; felt her talons pinching at the thinner plates and skin, just shy of drawing blood. She was making incoherent, subharmonic noises, half requests and half demands as he pushed her closer and closer to release.

“Nihlus,” She said breathlessly, her hands stroking his fringe and pushing his head down. “P-please.”

Nihlus was so surprised at the word ‘please’ that he almost stopped completely. He even debated stopping just to ask her what she wanted although he knew. He pulled one of his arms free and slid his palm gently along her thigh. He rubbed her entrance slowly in warning before he shoved his fingers sharply inside at the same time he flicked his tongue on her clit repeatedly.

Saren snapped like a bowstring, her body straining against his hold. Her hands scrambled on his shoulders, trying to find purchase as she came with a scream. Saren, who had never been a vocal lover, _sweet fucking spirits she screamed for me_ when she came. Nihlus kept the same pace, licking rapidly to keep her over the edge as long as possible.

He finally slowed and stopped as he felt Saren starting to go limp in his hands. She was breathing so hard and fast her chest was heaving and he carefully eased his fingers out of her before then moving onto his side next to her.

Nihlus jaw ached dully while his erection pulsed angrily with neglect. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep that to himself. He wrapped the hand that was slick with her juices around it, gripping the wide base tightly and groaning at the sensation. He felt Saren shift and then her hand tracing the edge of his mandible and he turned his face into the touch with an appreciative hum.

“Your ego is well-deserved Nihlus.” She told him as she followed the lines of his colony paint.

He gave her a soft laugh and nuzzled against her palm. “I’m glad I could please you.”

“You’ve always pleased me in several different ways.” Saren smiled at him slowly, her subtones almost indecent with implication. “You’ve never failed to live up to my standards, lofty as they may be.”

Nihlus allowed himself a slow, half-hearted stroke but it still had the nerves in his dick screaming with bliss. “ _Ah_ , that’s good to know.” He said and wondered if he should say something about her scream of pleasure but he wasn’t sure how Saren would take it, but he threw caution to the wind and did it anyway. “You certainly sounded like you enjoyed yourself.”

Saren chuckled and scratched her fingers under his jaw before fanning her hand over his throat. Nihlus stopped breathing, suddenly wary of the long black talons on the flesh over his pulse. However her hand continued down his throat without cutting him and explored over his chest and side before landing on the ridge of his hip. He drew in a quick breath, his eyes rolling back in his head as her hand gently brushed his own still wrapped around himself.

“Saren,” He whispered, rolling his hips up and then back, trying to get her to touch more of him.

“Do you need to come Nihlus?” She asked directly into his ear, her too warm breath sending shivers through his muscles.

Nihlus answered her with a low growl and another slow roll of his pelvis.

“I see…I thought you wanted to _fuck_ me.”

The tone she had used, full of debauched promises and blatant lust had him groaning and a specific hunger burning in his belly. Saren rarely spoke like that and not even the tone of her voice but the word she’d used. ‘Fuck’ was used in circumstances of anger and sudden triumph in situations that had seemed lost. She’d never used the phrase when they were both naked and racked with pleasure.

“I was waiting for you to ask.” Nihlus said and pulled their hands from his dick.

“Well,” Saren’s tongue brushed his mandible as she spoke. “I’m asking now…fuck me Nihlus.”

Nihlus could have come from the words alone. “Oh, sweet spirits.”

 

+_-_-_-_-_+

Saren’s thigh slid over his as she pushed him on his back and straddled him, her still open groin plates slick with his saliva and her fluids as she slipped against his erection tantalizingly. Nihlus made a subvocal hum of need and grabbed her hips to steady her. He should have realized that he’d already gotten away with too much and Saren would never let him top her. Not that he’d complain about their positions now, he loved to be ridden, loved how it let him touch his companion freely with both hands. He didn't plan on being passive, but she could take charge again if that was what she needed.

She planted her legs on either side of his hips and rose up on her knees as she took him in hand. Pushed up against her entrance, Nihlus’ eyes slipped closed at the heat of her and he struggled to fill his lungs as she lined his cock up with her opening. He felt the tip part her folds and he was torn between watching as his dick filled her and looking into her eyes.

Nihlus quickly decided he could watch his cock spread her open a number of times latter. He’d only get to watch her face as he entered her that first time once.

Saren’s eyes were half closed, only small slits of silver-blue peaking underneath the lids. Her head was bent forward and her little mandibles were spread out from her jaw in an expression akin to awe as he slid in those first few inches. Then her hands landed on Nihlus’ chest to either side of his keel bone to retain her balance as she lowered herself onto him fully.

He was already purring loudly, he was so deep inside and she was so tight. Her inner muscles gripped him like a vice and fit him like no-one else ever had before. Every raised ridge of his arousal was met with a corresponding groove inside her channel. There had barely been any resistance, it was perfect. Saren was perfect.

“You’re perfect,” He mumbled as his brain overrode his mouth.

Saren just huffed out a breath, eyes still half closed but concentrated on him. She didn’t move, still perched almost lightly on his hips, obviously waiting for her body to adjust to him. Nihlus lifted one hand from her hip and took it on a slow path up her waist to caress over her unplated abdomen. Muscles twitched under his fingers sporadically as he continued up her chest to the base of her throat where he let his hand rest.

Nihlus’s heart pounded behind his ribs and under her hands while Saren stayed unmoving above him.

She would probably hit him for asking, but minutes had passed since she mounted him and he had the nagging suspicion something was wrong. “Are you alright Saren?”

“I never would have thought it felt like this,” Her voice was soft and held a tone of light surprise.

Nihlus’ mandibles twitched as he tried not to smile. “And what’s it feel like?”

Saren shook her head and that small motion had her body moving on his in an interesting way. “I don’t think…I could describe…”She paused again and took a deep breath. “Describe it with justice.”

“Please try,” He said and ran his finger along one valluvian horn gently. 

She gave an experimental sway of her hips, just a slight forward and back movement that had Nihlus’ breath exploding from his lungs on the tail of a long groan. Her hands trembled the slightest bit on his chest before her talons dug into the plates.

“It feels… _you_ feel…” She shook her head again and sighed. “I don’t have the words to define it. You feel good, so good I can’t…properly express it.”

Nihlus hummed with satisfaction, Saren had never told him that he felt good. She’d always just shown it with the more intimate touches long-time lovers used, like cupping his mandibles with both hands when they kissed or leaning their foreheads together for extended moments. It was a boost to his ego, not that he needed it, and it had his cock giving a sudden pulse inside her.

“Oh,” Saren breathed the word.

He concentrated on the muscles in his lower abdomen, flexed them and the pulse happened again.

“Spirits Nihlus…”

Nihlus flexed those muscles again, only this time he punctuated it with a small upward thrust.

 _“Oh,”_ Her talons were going to leave marks.

There was something he’d always wanted to do with Saren, a little game (for lack of a better term) he’d played with other lovers. He was fully aware he’d regret it once Saren was back to _his_ normal self, but it was worth the potential beat-down. He may never get another chance- this might be the only time he’d have her unbalanced and open enough to answer him honestly and there was the small chance that Saren would enjoy it too.

Saren’s hands traced the lines of his throat and he leaned his head back, letting his eyes close. He lifted his hips just a bit, no more than a few inches from the bed and felt himself delve a little deeper inside her. Talons pinched the skin of his throat lightly and the slight pain put a rush of adrenaline in his blood. It also made him feel bold and his hand left the base of her throat to join the other on her hip and then to slide down over her upper thighs.

Nihlus moved his hips in a slow, slight rhythm until Saren moaned softly above him. He took a steady, affirming breath and commenced his game.

“Tell me,” He began softly, looking up into her eyes. “Tell me that you like how my cock fills you up.”

Her eyes widened for the barest second and then narrowed. “If you’re trying to make me _beg_ ,” She said the word like it was a disgusting and absolutely vile thing. “I swear I’ll-“

Nihlus didn’t let her finish. “I don’t want you to beg Saren.” He said quickly and his subharmonics revealed his sincerity while he made absent circles on her inner thighs.  “I’d _never_ ask you to beg.”

 _Spirits that was a bad idea._ He thought with a sliver of despair. _I need to salvage this. I love Saren, more than that, I’m in love with Saren. And I don’t want to stop touching her, I don’t want to stop being inside her like I am, she feels so amazing. Please don’t let me ruin this, please don’t let me fuck this up worse than I can repair._

Saren held his gaze, eyes still narrowed in something just shy of anger. Her entire body, including where he was lodged inside her, was tense and unmoving. She was so tight around him that Nihlus was almost light-headed with how good it felt and he fought every impulse to lift his lower body and stayed as still as if he were caught in a snare.

He broke eye-contact with Saren and titled his head back as far as he could, giving her every inch of his vulnerable and unprotected throat. He let his eyes close; there was nothing like giving one’s self over to their lover’s mercy and every whim. He just wanted to show Saren that submitting, even if it was just once, didn’t mean she was weaker or any less dominate in the grander scheme of their relationship.

Nihlus let his most earnest tone envelope his voice as he spoke. “I have to know I’m meeting your needs…When…when you’re inside me Saren, I feel sensations and emotions I’ve never been able to put a name to.”

He let the truth, the things he’d never felt for anyone before Saren, come out in his subvocals. Most of it was more concept than words because he really never had been able to find the appropriate expressions. _Loved, complete, worthy._

“I just want to know that I’m pleasing you, physically I mean, I just want to know that I make you feel good…So this is _me_ begging _you_ , tell me it feels good. That’s all I need to know.”

And what wasn’t just a vague concept, was clearer than a summer day. _I need to know that I feel as good to you as you do to me. I need to please you, Spirits help me, I’m in love with you._

Saren leaned forward slowly and his life flashed behind his closed lids. He just knew she was going to tear his throat open while he was still inside her and feeling more completed than he ever had.

Nihlus felt the pressure of her forehead on his and he almost keened with relief. Saren’s breath warmed his face, her hands cupped his mandibles with her thumbs on the tender area where they connected to his face and she could easily tear them off from her position. A sudden shift of her hips had internal muscles rippling along his length in an intense spasm.

“ _Oh, oh,_ fuck.” The words tore out of him in a growl.

Saren licked the outer back edge of his mandible before settling her mouth on his ear and breathing into him. “I _love_ how you fill me…You’re so deep inside.” She whispered. “I _love_ how your ridges rub me in all the right places. I want to feel you coming in me, I want to feel it drip out of me when-“

Nihlus jerked his head to the side and kissed her, unable to take any more of the softly murmured words. He pushed his tongue against Saren’s and rocked his hips up hard, the angle sharp and allowing him to penetrate deeply.

Saren used his momentum to roll them and Nihlus found himself above her. He had to keep his spine bent so they could continue to taste each other, their tongues sliding and curling together and their mandibles brushing gently. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her chest tight to his and brought his hips to hers. The change in position had given him a lot of room for movement, even if he did have to keep his back uncomfortably bent just to keep the eye contact.

He thrust forward, felt her body squeeze down on his and her teeth nick his tongue. Another thrust, deeper than the last, had Saren’s legs spreading wider around his hips and her knees pushing against his sides. He moaned into her mouth and picked up his pace, snapping his hips and rolling them just a bit as he worked his cock in and out of her.

Saren nipped his tongue again, her hands sliding along his neck and up under his fringe before she gripped the ends and wrenched his head back. She ducked her head and bit a line down his throat, her tongue darting out occasionally to sooth away the pain. Nihlus bucked against her with each bite, his rhythm smooth and precise.

…Until her legs wrapped fully around his waist.

He snarled, hands dropping away from her back to grab at the underside of her thighs. He felt his talons digging into her flesh and quickly planted his hands on the bed, tearing into the sheets instead. Saren sometimes enjoyed being scratched but he wasn’t sure of his self-control at the moment and he didn’t want to draw blood. She still had his head pulled back by his fringe, his neck exposed to her teeth which continued to bite and pull at his flesh. Nihlus thrust harder and faster, so deep inside her that his groin plates were rubbing against her clit on each stroke.

Saren panted against his neck, her tongue stroking over his pulse after she bit him there and he thought he heard her whisper his name in a reverent tone. Her hands finally left his fringe and slid down his back to grab him by the ass firmly. She pulled him into her, her body clenching tightly on his cock, the inner furrows caressing his ridges in convulsive waves.

_Spirits…fuck I’m…oh so close…_

Nihlus felt half lost in the sensation of pounding into her with his hips tilted to keep the pressure on her nub, her talons dug into the flesh of his rear as her teeth nipped under his chin with affection. He was on the precipice of release and he was going to bring Saren with him when he fell over it.

Nihlus’ snapped his hips forward, straining to bury himself as deeply inside her as he could and he ground himself against her as he let go of all his tension. His orgasm detonated at the base of his spine and flooded his nerves with ecstasy and a searing heat. He spilled into Saren, his cock pulsing and throbbing as he emptied himself. Less than half a second passed and then she was coming too, his name gasped like a prayer. She grew unbelievably tight, almost painfully so, squeezing and clenching around him irregularly. He kept thrusting throughout their shared release until he was almost blinded by the intensity of her passage rippling around him.

Saren moaned against his neck and slid her hands up to his shoulders and then around to the front of his chest. She pushed him back until their eyes caught and hers were almost glowing with desire.

“Don’t you dare stop.” She growled at him.

Nihlus ground into her again. “I wasn’t planning to.”

Saren arched her hips sharply and her legs fell away from his waist to lower onto the bed. She spread them open invitingly and Nihlus got to his knees between her thighs, dick still buried deeply. He rolled his hips back and slid out from her, watching as his seed slowly dripped out of her hole. He growled lowly at the sight, a delightful shiver travelling through his muscles. Nihlus dipped his fingertips in the mess, smeared it around her and up to the now extremely sensitive bud. He rubbed it onto the little nub, tracing long swooping circles on her clit.

He did what he’d wanted to do earlier and watched Saren’s folds part around his dick as he slid back inside shallowly. Slowly, so slowly, he pulled back out and still watching, pushed back in. She arched her back trying to coax him to thrust into her fully but he just kept the same pattern of motions.

“Fuck Nihlus,” She hissed.

“I’m going to,” He said cheekily. “Just wait.”

Another careful stroke of his thumb and another shallow thrust at a downward angle had Saren moaning loudly and her hips almost shaking as she tried to encourage more movement. He ignored her for the moment, too caught up in the experience.

“Nihlus,” She said again and her voice was tight with need. It was probably the closest she would get to actually begging him to continue.

“This is the first time I’ve come in you.” He told her, still spreading his release over her clit and his shaft. “Let me…just enjoy it for a second more, please Saren.”

Saren propped herself up on her elbows and looked down her body to watch what he was doing. Her eyes widened and she glanced up at him, mandibles titling away from her jaw in a slight smile. He put a little more pressure behind his thumb and preformed another roll of his hips.

 _“Oh,_ that feels _so…”_

“I know,” He said, smiling too.

“Keep doing that Nihlus.”

He nodded and circled her clit, rocking his hips gently back and forth. A particularly deep thrust had Saren’s arms sliding out from under her and her hips shooting up to meet him. Nihlus moaned lowly, sinking deeper into her inch by inch as he kept at the steady strokes of his thumb. He could already feel her getting closer to another release.

Nihlus slowed the motion of his hand and increased the rhythm of his hips. She still gripped him tightly, but now infused with his earlier orgasm, his every stroke was easy and he almost glided in and out of her. He laid his free hand just above her hip and pulled her against him with each thrust. This time Saren went over the edge before he did. Her spine bowing and her head falling back to show him the pale expanse of her throat as she shook and her inner walls quivered around him.

He jerked her tighter to him and came with a snarl as he pushed his forehead against hers lovingly. Saren wrapped a hand around the back of his neck and licked lightly at his mouth, slipping her tongue inside when he opened it for her. Nihlus felt his arms shaking with the effort of holding himself up and he collapsed onto her with a grateful sigh. He was motionless inside her, still hard but sated for the moment and purring with satisfaction. He even went so far as to lick Saren’s face, following the nonexistent lines of colony paint.

It was a gesture of feelings deeper than affection usually reserved for mates and as such, it held a wealth of meaning. Some of the sentiment was lost on Saren. Nihlus didn’t know why, but the older turian didn’t possess colony tattoos although he assumed it had something to do with Saren being biotic.  He’d seen pictures of Desolas, back when curiosity about his mentor had prompted him to look up everything he could find about the Arterius family. So he knew what Saren’s colony markings would look like and where they would go.

Nihlus gently licked a vertical line over each eye, following the imaginary paint down to her upper mouth and just behind her mandibles before leaving the final wet stripe at the center of her chin. Saren pushed at his chest once and he leaned back to look at her, wondering if he’d just gone too far.

“What?” He asked.

“You’re actually quite heavy,” She told him with a scolding tone.

“Oh, sorry.” He slipped out of her and moved onto his side next to her, their bodies still touching.

She didn’t mention his little gesture of love, nor did she wipe away the wetness from his tongue. Nihlus took that as a good sign; he didn’t know what else to do with it anyway. Words welled up in his mind, questions he wanted to ask and statements he wanted to make but he kept his mouth shut, unsure of how to approach them.

Nihlus scooted a little closer and slid his arm underneath her shoulders to pull her against his chest. He nuzzled his chin against her forehead and purred quietly. His other arm rested heavily on her waist, the wrist curled at an angle so that he could trace mindless patterns on her hip bone.

“I need just a moment before we do that again Nihlus,” She told him, knocking his hand away.

He laughed, uplifted at her teasing tone. “That’s not what I’m after.”

“Then what are you doing?”

“I want to hold you for a moment.”

Saren bumped his chin with her head, making him lean back to look at her. “Why would you want to do that?”

“It doesn’t matter,” He said, trying to throw a leg over hers. “I just wanted to hold you for a little while.”

She resisted, lifting a knee to block him from monopolizing all her space. “Are you seriously telling me that you want to…cuddle?”

Saren had never been very…tactile after sex. Sure, sometimes they fell asleep and woke up still wrapped around each other. But mornings like that were rare, if still wonderful when they did happen. It was one of Nihlus’ favorite ways to wake up, other than coming to with Saren already deep inside him and thrusting hard and fast. He’d rarely been as sated as he was now, with her pressed tightly to his front. There was nothing wrong with wanting to fall asleep with his arms around her and their bodies pressed together completely.

“Is that so hard to believe?”

“No Nihlus.” She told him simply.

“Y’know, this may come as a surprise to you.” He said, pushing down on her knee with his hand and moving even closer to her side. “But it’s a proven fact that females like to be held after their mate comes in them a half dozen times.”

“You did not come in me a half dozen times-“

“I still could.” Nihlus interrupted, licking the edge of her mandible.

 _“And_ I am not a female, nor am I your mate.” Saren said but there wasn’t any reproach in her tone, she was just stating a fact.

“You’re a female right now.” He countered. “C’mon Saren, humor me just this once. Please?”

“You’re a sentimental fool,” She sighed with exacerbation but she did maneuver her body against his until they fit snuggly together.

“You love that about me though.”

Saren tucked her head under his chin and slipped her arm over his waist. “Shut up and go to sleep Nihlus.”

+_-_-_-_-_+

Nihlus’ omnitool woke him far too early. He shifted his arm out from under Saren who was still sleeping peacefully with her back pressed to his chest and her rear fitting perfectly between his hips. Rather than answer his ‘tool and read the message, he took a moment to look at his lover at leisure. He’d never seen his fellow Spectre looking so satisfied and serene. He leaned over and touched his forehead to hers softly with a sigh, one hand coming up to trace the outline of her mandible. She turned and nuzzled his hand in her sleep but didn’t wake. He spent a few more minutes just looking at her before turning his attention to his ‘tool.

He finally rolled to his back and pulled up the interface to read the message. It was marked with an urgent priority stamp and titled “Problem Solved.”

_“Spectre Kryik,_

_I’ve solved your problem. Well, sort of anyway. I’ll save you the confusing jargon and cut to the chase, as the humans say. While I’m not sure of the method, your friend has apparently come in contact with technology of Prothean origin. I’ll be candid with you Spectre, I don’t know how this vast physical change occurred and I do not want to know. I can tell you that your friend’s body is treating the technology like an infection. You’ll be relieved to know that your friend should return to normal within the week, as far as I can tell at least. However, I don’t have any suggestions for you should that fail to occur._

_Good luck Spectre, you’ll need it.”_

Nihlus read the message a dozen times before the words finally set in. And then he read them a dozen more until they started to make sense. Beside him, Saren had stirred, turning over to face him. A small pale hand slid down his waist and he felt her fingertips brush the top of his groin plates teasingly. Nihlus bucked into her hand hard with a surprised gasp and his plates began to part against his will.

It wasn’t like he didn’t want to pick up where they’d left off the night before, because he absolutely did. But…

”Stop,” He said and pushed her hand away before she managed to charm him open. “The technician finally got back to me. You need to read this.”

He turned his wrist until Saren could easily read the displayed message. Nihlus could feel the rise and fall of her chest as she began to breathe faster and harder with anger, her mandibles flaring away from her jaw once before snapping close again. A few minutes passed and then several more before she finally spoke.

“That _little fucking thing_ did this to me?!” Her voice came out permeated with furious and flummoxed subtones. “There’s _no spirits’ damned way_ that little thing could have-!”

Saren shoved his arm away and stormed off the bed with an infuriated growl. She bent low, grabbing her abandoned pants from the floor and giving Nihlus a wonderful view of her ass.

“-Spirits _fuck_! I only kicked it _once and not even that hard_!” She snarled and her subharmonics were all over the place with anger and confusion and just the smallest amount of dread.

“What happened Saren?” He asked, getting out from under the sheets. He’d never seen her show so much anxiety before.

“Not now!” She yelled at him. “I’m taking a shower. _Spirits-damned-Protheans this is ridiculous!”_

The bathroom door shut with a snap and Nihlus could still hear her cursing with creative obscenity through the walls. He heard the shower turn on and he felt a pang of something like regret knowing she was washing off his scent. Cleaning away the evidence of the most passionate night they’d ever shared. Spirits, it made his heart hurt. Realistically, he knew that wasn’t the case, but the pain was still there.

Nihlus paused long enough to pull on his own trousers and then followed her. Steam thick as fog filled the room and floated up around his spurs. The water had to be too hot to be comfortable and he had the thought that she really was washing him off of her. It certainly seemed that way with how she was furiously spreading soap all over her body and still cursing under her breath. It made his chest ache but he pushed the feeling aside as he reached into the shower stall to adjust the temperature. She didn’t seem to really notice him as she smacked his hand away and just turned the water off.

“So,” He said. “Can you tell me about your last assignment or is it classified about my level?”

Saren pushed past him and grabbed a towel while he tried to ignore the way the water made her plates and hide gleam. His fear melted away as he caught a whiff of mating pheromones still on his lover and his pelvic plates gave an eager shift.

“No,” She said, wrapping the towel around her hips. “It’s not. I’d been trailing a smuggler’s ship. They had all types of stolen goods. Artwork, weapons, drugs, the works. There was also a Prothean artifact. It wasn’t anything unusual, or so I thought.”

“So what was it?”

“A sphere, roughly thirty inches in circumference and weighing perhaps three pounds at most.”

Nihlus took a moment to picture it in his head. “So a prothean sphere about the size of a human…basketball?” He asked.

“Yes.”

“What did it do? I mean, did it have an obvious purpose?”

“I don’t know Nihlus. It interfered with my shielding and communications.”

“When you were, um, ranting,” Nihlus stated, staring as she whipped off the towel and left in on the floor. “You said you kicked it, honestly Saren, that’s a little juvenile of you.”

“It made this buzzing noise constantly, incessantly!” She yelled, her mandibles flaring out with annoyance. “As if it wasn’t bad enough that it somehow kept my ship from taking off. The sound it made, spirits Nihlus, it was like carnivorous worms in my head. It wasn’t even a kick, really, I just nudged it. If I had known what would’ve happened I never would have even touched the damned thing.”

Nihlus hummed a sound of amusement at the mental image of Saren kicking around the Prothean sphere. “I cannot believe you kicked it, more, I can’t believe it did this to you.”

“Neither can I.” She said and brushed her hand along his side before she left him standing there. “And Nihlus?”

“Yeah?” He called back through the open door.

“Since I’m stuck like this, I’m going to need my own clothes.”

“I can do that.”

Saren poked her head back through the door. “One other thing.”

“What?” He asked, flipping the switch in the stall for his own shower.

“Thank you for last night.” Her mandibles were tilted in a sly grin and her subharmonics were warm. “We’ll need to do that again.”

 

+_-_-_-_-_+

As it turned out, Saren hadn’t really needed the clothes since they spent the rest of the week having sex on every available surface. Multiple times against the wall and down on the floor, twice on the couch and once with Saren lying back on the table while he’d stood between her legs. Innumerable times Nihlus had laid between her thighs and licked her until she’d nearly begged him to stop just so she could return the favor by tonguing his every single ridge. They’d even recreated that first time in the shower. Only with their roles reversed; Saren’s thigh tossed over his hip as he left bites all along her throat.

Of the many ways-and places- they had fucked and made love, Nihlus had two favorites. One of which involved Saren sitting in his lap with her hands on his shoulders while he’d been propped against the headboard. It had put her sliver eyes level with his green ones and it was almost like he’d been staring into her soul.

The other had been his absolute favorite and an experience he’d treasure forever. Nihlus had pushed Saren over the edge of the bed and stood directly behind her with his groin flush against her rear. He’d only wanted to play at it, and he’d fully planned on pulling Saren the rest of the way up the bed. But when she’d ground her ass hard against his hips, Nihlus had lost his control. In less than a minute he was out of his plates and pushing inside her. Seconds after that, he’d been hammering into her with everything he had. His hands clutching her hips tightly and his cock at a deeper angle than he’d ever achieved before as she’d writhed and moaned underneath him. For any other partner, it was just another position. For Saren though, it was complete surrender and total submission. It was also as close to a declaration of love as she would ever get.

They spent more than one night utterly exhausted and sleeping in each other’s arms wherever they happened to drop. Then Nihlus woke up at the end of the week and found Saren still asleep beside him, only _she_ had become _he_ again. He was curled on his side, one arm wrapped under his head and cradling his fringe, his mandibles resting in a relaxed manner against his face.

Nihlus just waited for his lover to wake, the older turian usually slept longer than he did. And lately, they’d been pushing each other far past the point of fatigue. Watching Saren sleep and then slowly wake up was something he’d come to enjoy. The older male stretched slowly with a deep breath, turning his head and causing the long spines of his fringe to brush the pillow and his arm. Pale eyes snapped open and he sprang up into a sitting position.

Saren threw the sheets off and jumped from the bed. Nihlus let him go without a word; it was obvious that he wanted to see for himself that he was indeed back to normal. Nearly ten minutes passed before the pale plated turian returned, his mandibles, no longer small and cute, slanted outward in a grin and his subvocals rumbling relief.

Nihlus returned his grin and patted the bed invitingly. The mattress dipped with Saren’s weight as he knelt on the edge of it, then he crawled forward and leaned over the younger turian. Foreheads touched with a lingering pressure and then Saren was kissing him with an unparalleled hunger. Nihlus wound his arms around his neck and pulled the larger turian closer until he was pinned to the bed by the superior weight.

He could feel Saren’s erection pressing into his thigh as he climbed over him. “Someone’s excited,” He teased.

Saren bit the edge of his mandible. “I’ve missed you.”

Nihlus smoothed his hands over the long valluvian horns and cupped his mandibles in return. “I’ve been right here.”

He’d moved down along his throat with barely felt nips. “You know how I mean.”

Nihlus chuckled and rocked up against the larger male, his plates shifting open eagerly. “I guess I thought, after everything this week, that you’d let me…y’know.”

Saren hummed a soft purr. “I’ll admit I’ve given that some thought but I wanted to…return the favors you’ve paid me this past week.”

+_-_-_-_-_+

Nihlus clutched Saren to him as the older male kissed him hard and without restraint. Long black talons dug into the back of his neck and underneath his fringe as Saren ground their bodies together. He’d wasted no time in taking Nihlus, and _spirits_ , he was nearly wild with need.

Saren’s every motion was almost desperate. From the way he gripped Nihlus’ hips tightly, to the rapid pace of his rhythm and the way he growled lowly with every hard thrust. He rubbed their faces together, spreading his scent all over Nihlus, pheromones hot and heavy in the younger turian’s nose.

He broke their kiss and traced the white lines and swooping arches of Nihlus’ colony paint with the tip of his tongue. He whimpered at the implications of the act and threw his hips against him, caught in his own desperation. Saren left his face to lick the pulse of his throat, teeth scraping flesh that was already nearly bruised from previous bites.

Saren suddenly propped himself up on one arm, changing the depth and angle of his thrusts in a way that had Nihlus gasping out a long moan. He stopped breathing completely when a large hand grasped his cock tightly and his eyes rolled back in his head for a moment. The larger turian increased his tempo again, only now his hand kept the pace with his hips. It went on like that until it was obvious he couldn’t support his weight any more, at least not with the way Nihlus was bucking up to meet him and throwing off his balance.

He could feel Saren’s heart racing as their chests met and it matched the beat of his own. The hand around his shaft tightened again and then began to stroke all of him, thumb pressing down on the head gently but firmly, his ridges caressed by nimble fingers. Nihlus moaned again, arching into Saren, feeling him sliding deeper inside, the raised contours of his erection opening him up in a delicious way. The older turian kissed him again and then went back to leaving bites on his unprotected neck.

“Nihlus,” His voice was a throaty rumble infused with heat, desire and just a hint of the desperation that was in his movements. “Tell me you love me.”

Nihlus grabbed the long horn protruding above his mandible and pulled until their eyes locked. “I love you.” He vowed.

Saren knocked his hand away, grasped it in his own and pinned it to the bed, fingers interlocking. He rammed his hips forward and went so deep it hurt. “Say it again.”

He purred the words in his lowest tone, breathless. “I love you.”

Saren pushed their foreheads together, took his hand in a fast but thorough stroke along Nihlus’ cock. “Now, say you’re mine. Only mine,”

Nihlus’ world narrowed down to radiant silver-blues. “ _You’re_ mine.” He growled.

He bucked up and rolled them with so much force that they fell off the bed. Saren’s back slammed hard onto the floor and only Nihlus’ hands on his shoulders held him in place. He spread his thighs as far as he could to either side of Saren’s hips and sank down on him. He set their rhythm, hips rocking hard as he moved up and down. Saren wrapped his hands around his waist and Nihlus expected to be thrown off but the older turian just aided his motions.

 _“Nihlus,”_ His subvocals were full of an unnamable emotion and on fire with need.

Nihlus rode him harder and faster, his muscles straining with the effort. Saren’s talons dug into his lower back, keeping his nerves torn between pleasure and pain. One pale hand left his waist and engulfed the base of his dick tightly, sliding up the shaft in a quick stroke. He amped up his pace again, causing Saren to growl and bare his throat as he tossed his head back.

He dove for the expanse of pale hide and bit just shy of breaking flesh. Saren let out a loud dual-toned groan, thrust up forcefully and squeezed his palm around Nihlus’ cock harshly. It was too much sensation for both of them and they spiraled out of control together.

When Nihlus came back to himself and his mind had cleared of the euphoric haze, he found that Saren had turned them on their sides. His face was flush with the older turian’s neck; the smell of their passion in his nose was intense and overpowering. Saren purred lowly and pet the long spines of his fringe absently, the motion soothing and relaxing. Fatigue tugged at his senses but Nihlus resisted, slipping an arm over Saren’s waist and pulling him close. His lover continued to purr without a word.

 

+_-_-_-_-_+

A short time later, Nihlus lifted his head from Saren’s shoulder and looked down into his eyes. There was still heat in his gaze, a smoldering look that turned his irises a dark gun-metal grey. He craned his neck up to touch his forehead to Nihlus’ and breathed a contented sigh against his face.

He slid his hand down Saren’s arm and over his flank, a dark palm coming to rest on a pale grey hip. The older turian’s breathing changed, speeding up just a fraction and he covered the hand with his own. A gentle squeeze followed before he guided that hand to the space between is hips and the erection that still jutted outward enthusiastically.

Nihlus wrapped his fingers around the dark blue cock, gently at first and then a little tighter. Saren’s hand still covered his own, their fingers interlaced and working in tandem. Together they caressed up and down and Saren shivered when Nihlus gave a quick twist just under the head.

“Slowly Nihlus,” He murmured as he directed the strokes over his length.

He purred an affirmative. If there was one thing he loved about the older turian’s need for control, it was when he literally took the initiative. He used Nihlus’ hand to stroke himself, controlling the strength and speed of his grip. Saren kept the pace slow and teasing when all Nihlus wanted to do was push him to that edge again.

The older turian was breathing slowly and deeply, his hips rising by minute degrees as he led Nihlus’ hand on the path he preferred. Soon Saren made him go faster, made him grip tighter as he thrust into their joined hands. Nihlus felt his frame tremble and then the older turian was pushing his hand away with a groan. He hadn’t come.

He started to ask why Saren had made him stop, but a hand grasped the edge of his central keel bone and then he was on top of the larger male again. Only this time, it was his hips between Saren’s thighs. The pale turian’s gaze was still searing hot but now it also appeared slightly dreamy.

Again he started to speak but Saren pulled him down and kissed him roughly, long tongue slipping easily into his mouth and tangling with his own. A hand still damp with natural lubricant landed on the side of Nihlus’ neck but it wasn’t unpleasant and a thumb came up to rub the back edge of his mandible. He felt Saren shift, knees brushing against his sides as the older turian moved into a more comfortable position underneath him.

He pulled back from the kiss and stared down into unfocused silver eyes. “Are you sure?”

Saren nodded once slowly and opened his legs a little wider until Nihlus fit firmly against him. Lined up expertly, one push was all it would take but he wouldn’t dream of rushing this. He kissed the older male hard again, felt that hand on his neck squeeze just a little as he began to press inside. A full minute passed and he watched Saren’s eyes close as he hilted inside him, buried all the way to his root. Saren was even tighter there than he was in his other form and it made the younger turian groan lowly.

Nihlus didn’t move, he didn’t even breathe for a span of heartbeats. The hand on the side of his neck moved under his fringe and gripped his skull with widespread fingers. Saren exhaled slowly against his face, his subharmonics rumbling incoherent concepts as he lifted his hips encouragingly.

He was so tight it was nearly painful and Nihlus realized he should’ve taken the time to prepare him, if only for his own comfort. He also realized he’d have to keep his thrusts slow and measured or he’d hurt the both of them. But then Saren lifted his hips again, bearing down on him urgently and those thoughts left his head in a hurry.

It was only the tightness of Saren’s back passage that kept Nihlus from hammering into the older turian. If hadn’t been for that, he would have pounded into him with all he had. Saren still gripped the back of his head, talons scraping at his neck. His other arm was wrapped around Nihlus’ lower back, keeping their chest pressed tightly together and he could feel their hearts beating in unison. 

He looked down at Saren’s face and found his eyes still securely closed, his mandibles hanging slack and almost limply against his jaw. The amount of trust the older turian had in him had Nihlus’ blood heating to the boiling point and his hips meeting his ass firmly with each following thrust. Saren’s breath huffed out on his face and his erection, wet with arousal, slipped against Nihlus’ lower stomach.

“N-Nihlus,” His voice was strained and flooded with complex subvocals.

Nihlus could barely comprehend the other male’s undertones and he only caught snippets of phrases. What he did hear from Saren made little to no sense, it was just a jumble of words, not even complete sentences.

  _Need you…Love me…More. So deep, all the way. Too much. Hurts, painful. Feels so good, feels right._

_“Nihlus,”_

Spirits, Saren sounded completely blissed out of his skull, almost delirious with pleasure. Nihlus pushed even deeper until he felt the head of his cock brush the cluster of nerves just slightly and Saren gasped quietly. He immediately pulled back and the older turian’s hips rocked up to follow him, eyes still closed. Nihlus thrust forward harder than he had been and struck those nerves again forcefully.

Saren’s head fell back, exposing his long neck as he snarled Nihlus’ name. The larger male had had more than enough time to get used to his length and width and he performed the move again, much faster this time. Nihlus felt talons dig in along his spine, pinching at tender muscles and sending a flash of white-hot pain through him. He gave his own low snarl at that and shoved his face into Saren’s throat, bit him and slammed himself home.

Nihlus knew his pace had become less deliberate and more frantic as he tried to push Saren toward his release. He knew his every move was possessive and forceful; his grip on Saren’s hips was far too tight for one thing. But he couldn’t stop now, not with the noises his lover was making. A low moan when Nihlus licked his throat, a breathless snarl when he bit down over his pulse and an intensely pitched keen when he struck that gathering of nerves deep inside.

He pressed his body closer to Saren’s, trapping his dick between their stomachs, lost in the feeling of him sliding against his flesh. Nihlus could feel the rapid beat of Saren’s heart in his chest, pounding like a war drum. Spirits he was so _close._

He let go of those pale hips and planted his hands next to Saren’s head, lifting his torso away so they only touched from the waist down. It changed the angle of his penetration, making it sharp and oh so deep. The male’s eyes were still closed, his vulnerable throat stretched taut and Nihlus groaned tightly.

“Open your eyes Saren.”

Saren seemed to ignore the words, but maybe he was too lost in their rutting to hear him. Nihlus bent his elbows and leaned forward on his palms, keeping several inches of space between their chests. He shoved their foreheads together, let his tongue snake out to swipe over Saren’s horn and mandible and then his mouth too.

 _“Look at me.”_ He commanded in a growl, putting every ounce of his dominant position into his subharmonics. _“Look at me Saren.”_

Blue-silver eyes snapped open, pupils tiny black slivers, and locked onto Nihlus’. Saren rocked up against him, forcing him all the way inside as his cock slapped on Nihlus’ stomach.

The grey turian growled at him and bared his teeth with a flare of his mandibles. “Come Nihlus.” He ordered and his legs suddenly wrapped around the back of Nihlus’ knees, jerking the younger turian in tight.

Nihlus did, he couldn’t stop himself. He pushed his face into Saren’s neck as he came with a wordless, dual-toned cry. His hips shot forward, cock delving deep and pulsating as he spilled himself into Saren over and over. He felt the other turian clench around him to drag out his orgasm, so tight and warm.

Saren bucked against him and came as well a few seconds later, arms wrapping tight around his back. Nihlus pushed their faces together as he came down from his high and held the scent of their sex in his lungs for a long moment before he kissed Saren gently.

Then he laughed when he realized the son-of-a-bitch had never let go of his control.

 

+_-_-_-_-_+

Epilogue

It was the last night of their two week break and rather than spend it fucking, like they had every other night, they simply lounged against each other in the bed. Nihlus had already packed his things, his clothes and guns stored away by the door so he could grab them on the way out. Saren’s paranoia had won over and the guns he’d stashed at various locales around the room were still in their hiding places. Nihlus knew he wouldn’t retrieve them until the last minute.

He nuzzled his mandibles against Saren’s throat, purring slowly with happiness. “So…how long this time?” He asked although he knew, he was already counting the minutes until they could meet again.

“Roughly eleven months.” Saren answered.

“A long time.”

Saren pet the spines of his fringe with a gentle pensiveness. “The time will pass quickly Nihlus.”

He made a noncommittal noise like he didn’t believe that one bit. “Promise me you’ll be careful.”

The older turian gave a soft laugh. “You know I can’t promise that.”

Nihlus chuckled too. “True.” He conceded. “Just promise me you’ll be wary of magical Prothean spheres.”

Saren laughed for real this time and it rumbled out of his chest and into Nihlus. “Of course.”

He nuzzled the pale throat again, sliding one arm underneath Saren’s back as he snuggled closer to his warmth. “Eleven months is a long fucking time to remain celibate.” He grumbled.

“You don’t have to.”

He licked Saren’s throat with a long swipe of his tongue. “I will though, I always do. You’re the only person I’ve been with for years.”

“I know.” He tilted Nihlus’ head up and kissed him tenderly. “I do the same.” _Only you._

It was another of those small declarations of love and probably the closest Saren would get to actually saying the words. Nihlus could wait for them, because maybe, in eleven months he’d hear them.

 

End.

 

**Author's Note:**

> A/N_ Thanks for reading guys and thank you for all the comments and encouragement. A shit-ton of thanks to my beta reader who wrote the other fill for this. Her help has been indispensable, I seriously couldn't have got as much done as I did without her. This has been so much fun to write, so much fun. I’ve got a bonus scene in the works right now and it won’t be long until that’s up.


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